In this life a few things are inevitable, like death and taxes. Another one of those inevitabilities is goodbyes. When you come visit a new place for a time or when you leave an old one it is inevitable that eventually you will have to say goodbye. Goodbyes are hard, It’s just a fact of life. Some of us cope with goodbyes better than others. However, this goodbye in particular is one that is very difficult for me. Despite being little hell raisers and ruffians my kids have stolen my heart, all 30 of them. Today was one of the hardest days in my life when I had to say goodbye to them. It would be different if I had come somewhere closer but I am in China 9000 miles from home and halfway around the world so saying goodbye for them is especially hard because I don’t know if or when I will ever see my kids again in this life.
Along with saying goodbye to my kids at the end of class today I went to their dormitories and said good night to many of them tonight. I got there before the kids and when the kids arrived I was mobbed by about 12 of them, most of which weren’t even my ILP kids. I was giving hugs to several children at the same time as several of them looked at me and said “teacher, not go home! Teacher, not go home! Okay?” It broke my heart just a little hearing that especially from my kids. I got so many hugs, kisses, and snuggles tonight and that is something I will hold on to for a while.
Today was very difficult for me and it is the start of a long road ahead. I will think of these kids with reminiscent sadness for a while after I get home. However, I need to move on and go forth heading home to see friends and family looking towards my future. I hope that I have left an impression on these kids that will stay with them and that when China is opened up for missionary opportunities softens there heart and helps them come to the truth. This experience has been an incredible journey for me with its bumps and bruises along the way and with the children often times not listening to me.
Tonight when I went to say good night to my kids it broke my heart but showed me how amazing are the mouths of babes when one of my little girls looked at me with tears in her eyes and said to me. “Teacher, I need to say sorry, for not listening to you when you talking in class.” While kids are just that kids especially when the time comes that they know they might not get another opportunity they will do the right thing. I hope these thoughts and impressions lead them to a greater knowledge of right and wrong and bring them to better lives.
I have a few more nights here in Changzhou, however, the children go home tomorrow and I leave on Sunday so I won’t be able to see them again after tomorrow. The long road ahead, the one beyond saying goodbye will not be easy but it will be worth it. This experience has melded lives beyond my own and left me with many thoughts, impressions, and ponderings that will stay with me until I carry them out. So, as I get ready to head to Hong Kong and then to go home I start this journey to move forward and to touch lives. I look down the path ahead, which while it seems scary right now will lead me to right where I need to be in the end. Here I start the next chapter of my journey, Thank you all of my children and Thank you China.
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